Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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