We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
