haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
