there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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