she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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