just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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