I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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