I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
