Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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