I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
