i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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