Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
