I think i peed on brittanys purse
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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