I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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