...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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