So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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