I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
