Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
