if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
