Tell her she can't have a vagina
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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