Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
