Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm going to jail i love you
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
