I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
