the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
