are you still at the devil's house?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize