What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
