I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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