K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
