just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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