i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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