I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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