If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
