I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
