I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
