I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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