there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
