My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
