woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
