Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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