"it" just moved
i think my mom watched the whole time
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize