4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
