the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
