You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
