Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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