honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
