For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
