Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
