Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize