I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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