wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize