What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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