Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
