considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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