My nipple is on Facebook.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
