Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
