You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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