He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You are the jesus of drinking
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
