and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
