She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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