dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
