I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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