Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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