I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
