so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
