Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
