either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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