Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
