The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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