idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
