Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
