4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We have started to decorate penises.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
