but the lizard people decide everything anyway
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
