i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
