It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
