Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize