Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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